Sat 28 Feb 09

5:56 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Life's up and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals.

Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want.

Marsha Sinetar

If I was to be beaten down by all the "downs" in my life, I would not be here today. All the ups and downs have made me who I am and for that I am grateful. My life is a constant roller coaster ride - its been fun at times and at others downright terrifying!

Life throws us some wobblies at times, the trick is to not let it beat you.

Get back up, brush yourself off, make a list, cross things off and get on with it!

I had a truly "spiritual" experience in OA this afternoon, there was truly a higher power at work in that room with us....

I am strong... I am smart... I am fit... I am healthy.


11:22 AM Edit This 0 Comments »

I arrived at the address where someone had requested a taxi. I honked but no one came out. I honked again, nothing.. So I walked to the door and knocked... 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, and then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated'..
'Oh, you're such a good boy', she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'

'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly.
'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry... I'm on my way to a hospice'.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing..

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired... Let's go now'

We drove in silence to the address she had given me.. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

'How much do I owe you?' she asked, reaching into her purse.
'Nothing,' I said

'You have to make a living,' she answered.

'There are other passengers,' I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said.

'Thank you.'

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?

What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.


Lost my way for a little bit

1:09 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Been working from home for the last couple of weeks and boy am I off track! Eating is/was totally out of control. No exercise.

Completely out of whack with life in general at the moment. Eating my feelings/stress.

Had a conversation with my Sister today, she read my CK blog and was concerned about me.

Read some of my OA literature, prayed for strength and abstinence today... one day at a time.

Feeling stronger today, looking forward to getting back into my routine on Monday morning again.

Heading to Dragonboating tomorrow morning, getting to a Body Balance class tonight.

No night-time bingeing....

9:51 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Well my night - time bingeing seems to be under control for the moment, I nearly came out to the kitchen last night and ho-ed into the cheese, but controlled myself.

Day-time bingeing on the other had is a whole other story. Food is just too handy, and I'm not talking about naughty stuff either, it's just normal stuff. I just eat too much. Why can't I just be normal and eat 3 meals a day and some fruit and a cuppa in between???

Plus I've been quite lethargic 'cause of the weather.

Put on .3 this week. Poop!

Oh well, sh*t happens.


2:06 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Well I have an inspection on Wednesday of next week, so it's all hands on deck spring cleaning the house. It's a new Real Estate, as the other one sold out. I'm a bit nervous, 'cause you don't know what sort of standards they have. If I were taking over a new property portfolio, I would do my research and look back over the records. They would see that we are excellent tenants, that we have never been late with our rent, that the house and yard is well kept and looked after like it were my own.

The owners came and did an inspection end of last year and were over the moon with the way we have looked after the house for them. She even commented that it is similarly decorated to the way they had it!

However, I still panic around inspection time and have to make sure everything is sparkling clean.

On the bright side, it's always a good excuse for a great spring clean, so the house gets a thorough going over every 3 months.

Cause its been raining so much, the gardens and lawns have gone crazy and the pool is looking a bit murky.

Our house is our home, I am an old fashioned girl with lots of pictures on the wall, an old genoa lounge with tapestry pattern, tapestries on the walls, ornaments etc etc. The kids reckon it's an "old" person's house! LOL I can't help it, I was brought up by grandparents!

I like the "cottage" look. Some would say it is cluttered... but each to their own. My home is very "homely" and "welcoming".

I'm also a bit of a hippy chick from the 70's :) So I like incense, feng shue, candles. I guess you could call me ecclectic :)

Anyhoo, best get back to it. Just finished the sky lights and light fittings, have to get stuck into the fans and walls now. The house is gonna look beautiful when I'm finished!!!!

Anyone wanna come round for coffee???? LOL

Luv Gwennie :)

No bingeing last night....yeeeaahhhhh

7:00 AM Edit This 1 Comment »
Woke up around 1.30pm went to loo, turned right back around and went to bed again! No shuffling in a dopey haze to the kitchen to grab handsful of grated cheese!

One day down.... the rest of my life to go.....

Good gym session last night. Lost weight since last Tues, bit over a kilo. Saturday is my own personal weigh in day though, so time will tell...

Feeling a bit sore in my shoulders, cause we do lots of upper body work in my PT session. PT says my pushups are getting much stronger, we do them on the diagonal now. Started on the wall, have progressed to half way down using an exercise machine for support, then we'll progress to the floor!

Combat tonight, I do love Combat so. It's a great class with an excellent instructor she really gets you pumping! She is really tall, really energetic and really strong. She is my goal..... a beautiful big strong amazon of a woman and fit as hell! That will be me in a couple of more years!

I've been giving some thought to my future and what I would ultimately like to do. I was thinking what a wonderful motivator I could be to other big women. Women who struggle through life like me. I know what's going on in their mind, I know how hard it is to stay motivated under duress, I know how hard it is to keep pushing through when you're in pain, I know how embarrassing it can be exercising, sweating, smelling...... and just "living" in the real world when you are overweight.

"Food" for thought :) pardon the pun :)

Dragon Boating

8:37 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Had my first go at Dragon boating tonight, I am absolutely hooked! I have found my Team sports, I love it!

I feel stronger already and I don't have to use my legs at all!

I love it, I love it, I love it!!!!!!!!

A dragon boat or "dragonboat" is a very long and narrow human-powered boat now used in the team paddling sport of dragon boat racing which originated in China over 2000 years ago. While competition has taken place annually for more than 20 centuries as part of folk ritual, it emerged in modern times as an international "sport" in Hong Kong in 1976. Like running, horse racing and marksmanship, the racing of dragon boats is among mankind's oldest organized competitions.

For competition events, dragon boats are generally rigged with decorative Chinese dragon heads and tails. At other times the decorative regalia is usually removed, although the drum often remains aboard for training purposes. In some areas of China, the boats are raced without dragon adornments.

Dragon boat races are traditionally held as part of the annual Duanwu Jie festival observance in China. 19th century European observers of the racing ritual, not understanding the significance of Duan Wu, referred to the spectacle as a "dragon boat festival" (literally, "long zhou jie" which is not the expression used in China to refer to this activity.) So this is the term that has become known in the west, even though it is not very authentic.

Dragonboat festival racing, like Duan Wu, is observed and celebrated in many areas of east Asia with significant populations of ethnic Chinese living there e.g. Singapore, Malaysia, Greater China (Hongkong, Macau, Taiwan, the mainland provinces of China). The date is referred to as the "double fifth" since Duan Wu is reckoned as the fifth day of the fifth lunar month, which often falls on the Gregorian calendar month of June, but also rarely May or July. This is because Duan Wu is reckoned annually in accordance with the traditional calendar system of China, which is a combination of solar and lunar cycles, unlike the Gregorian calendar system.

In December 2007, the Chinese government added Duan Wu, Qing Ming and Mid-Autumn festivals to the schedule of national holidays observed in the People's Republic of China, such is the importance of dragonboating to the Chinese today.

10:21 AM Edit This 1 Comment »
Taking a leaf out of Jigsaw's Blog and following a discussion with my Sister yesterday, I need to re-visit my goals from one year ago when I started my journey. I also need to compare where I've come from to where I am now. So here goes:

Changes in me from Jan 2008 - Jan 2009
From 142.5kgs to 115kgs
From Size 26+ to Size 20-
Took 20 mins to train station now 10 mins to train station
Struggled with 1 min on Elliptical now 20 mins on Elliptical
Couldn't do a squat to save myself, now range of motion enormously improved
Couldn't run, now can run short distances
Short 30 - 60 min walks with difficulty, now walked 10klm Moonwalk and Cancer Council 8 klm Walk with ease
Struggled getting out of chairs, including lounge and office, now get out with ease
Could NOT get out of the pool by myself, had to climb out and roll out like a beached whale, now step out with ease!
Used to have frequent bouts of depression, now very rarely will things get me down
Used to get sick all the time, now body fights off bugs really quickly if I get sick at all
Busting out of Shoe Size 11, now feet have shrunk and I can fit comfortably into a Size 10
Could wear high heels to save myself, now I have four pairs and feel sexy when I wear them
Wouldn't wear sleeveless shirts to save myself, now proud of showing off my muscly shoulders and arms
I was taking medication for thyroid, arthritis and reflux, now I don't need reflux medication and I only take anti-inflammatory meds every second or third day
I was taking pain meds daily, some heavies at night time, now don't need them very often at all, only after a really heavy exercise session
I used to sweat at the slightest exertion, now I still sweat, but not half as bad and I recover really quickly.
I was slow, sluggish and lethargic, heat really knocked me around and I was tired all the time, now I have energy to burn!!!

MY GOALS Feb 2008: I want to be able to get out of a chair or off the floor without groaning and being in enormous pain, (achieved) I want to be able to sit on a train or a bus without panicking in case anyone tries to sit next to me because I am taking up one and a half people's seats (achieved), I want to be able to run up a flight of stairs so I don't miss a train (achieved)! I want to be able to take two steps at a time when running up a flight of stairs (partially achieved), I want to be able to wear highheels without it absolutely killing me (achieved) and I want to go to a themepark and go on all the rides (not yet). I want to set a good example for my family (working on it, seems to be working!!!!). I want to go back to places I have lived previously and visit friends and relatives a whole new me and ASTOUND everyone!!! (visited Canberra last year, impressed a few people, went to a Xmas Party this year, people couldn't believe the change in me)

Mar 08: I thought of some more reasons to be a "normal" weight/size: I want to be able to get on a plane and put the food tray all the way down; I want to be able to go to the beach or pool in bathers in public and not be embarrassed; I want to be able to get out of a chair without being in enormous amounts of pain; I want to be able to get out of a chair just using my legs; I want to be able to get into a crowded elevator without thinking I am too heavy and it will set off an over capacity alarm.
MY GOALS Feb 2009 - Dec 2009: Take up Dragon boating. Lose the same amount of weight as 2008. Get down to a Size 16. Feel more comfortable in public transport, go to theme park. I want to be able to walk into a normal dress shop and buy clothes off the rack.